When custody of a child is involved with military members, there are many special difficulties and issues to consider. From deployment to the complexity of deciding who has the right to make decisions over the child, military members with custody of children must be extra mindful of the difficult truths they face as they strive to provide stability and support. This article will explore managing special difficulties and issues in child custody and the military and provide solutions.
1. Understanding the Complexities of Custody and Military Parenting
Knowing the Basics
When it comes to military parenting and understanding the complexities of custody, it’s important to first know the basics. Just like any type of family situation, custody is the right of a parent to make decisions and take care of their child. In the context of military parenting, custody is often discussed in the context of divorce, deployment and co-parenting.
For some, military parenting can be overwhelming. It’s important to get familiar with the relevant laws, regulations and court orders to understand where you stand in terms of obtaining legal custody of your child or making decisions on their behalf. This can make all the difference when serving in the military, especially in the cases of deployments, separations or distance from the other parent.
Helpful Resources
Specialized military parenting resources can be invaluable in understanding the complexities of military parenting and custody. Here are some to consider:
- Military OneSource: provides a range of services and knowledge to help military families dealing with custody and parenting as well as related financial, legal and parenting issues.
- Military Legal Support: provides information and resources tailored to members of the military and their families, including custody and parenting matters.
- State Child Custody Laws: provides updated information and resources to understand state specific child custody laws.
When to Seek Help
It’s not always easy to understand the complexities of military parenting and custody. In such cases, it is recommended to reach out and seek professional help from a military family law attorney. A family law attorney can help you understand your rights, the laws, and your options and recommend the best course of action for your situation.
Military life can be an amazing journey with many unique rewards and benefits, but it also brings with it some unexpected challenges. As a parent who is actively serving in the military, it comes with special challenges of finding ways to balance the demands of active duty with parenting.
Know Your Resources
One of the most useful strategies for navigating the unexpected challenges of custody and military life is to be aware of your resources. Reach out to your chain of command, local family advocacy center, military communities, and other military families who have gone through similar experiences. Additionally, research relevant laws that protect and support service members, like the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act.
Develop and Stick to a Schedule
Since schedules are constantly changing in the military, it is important to be mindful and proactive when it comes to setting schedules for parenting. At the start of each month or military cycle, develop a schedule for activities, parenting responsibilities for both parents, communication, and arrangements for alternative care if needed. This will help both parents stay informed and up-to-date as military duties evolve.
Plan Ahead
The best way to navigate unexpected challenges in military life and parenting is to plan ahead. Any deployment, training, or changes in duty station should be planned well in advance with the input of both parents. This will leave no room for confusion and can ensure that the needs of the military family are supported.
- Know Your Resources
- Develop and Stick to a Schedule
- Plan Ahead
3. Emotional, Logistical, and Legal Considerations in Military Paternity/Maternity
To be a part of the military means to have an understanding of the logistical, emotional, and legal considerations when it comes to paternity or maternity of children. It is no easy task to care for a family while serving in the military, but these key points will provide the guidance needed to have a successful pregnancy.
Emotional Considerations:
- It is important to take into consideration the impact of the transition from a civilian to a military lifestyle. There is usually a period of adjustment for both the expecting parents and children, so making sure to let them know the support systems available such as family and friends is key.
- Remembering to stay healthy is crucial for the sake of the child and parents. Eating a balanced diet and getting enough sleep can sometimes be a challenge, but it is necessary for the wellbeing of those involved.
- If couples plan to have more children while in service they must be mindful of timing and leave periods. This can help to ensure that the proper amount of time is spent preparing for each new arrival.
Logistical Considerations:
- It is important to plan ahead for childcare, whether that means finding a daycare or securing a babysitter for the times when both parents are away on duty. Military parents should be aware of the availability of military childcare as this is sometimes a viable and discounted option.
- Enrollment in Tricare can help to cover many of the medical costs associated with pregnancy and delivery, but it is important to make sure that it is up to date.
- Families should also familiarize themselves with regulations regarding the adoption of military orphans and regulations regarding the delivery of US-born children outside of US soil.
Legal Considerations:
- There are a few legal considerations that should be kept in mind when deciding to have children while in service. A need-based allowance can be requested from the Military to help offset some of the costs associated with parenting.
- Unmarried parents who are in the military should also make sure to get the proper paperwork in order for parental recognition. This is especially important for the rights of the child.
- Military spouses should also familiarize themselves with regulations regarding non-citizen families, regulations regarding the adoption of military orphans, and regulations regarding the social security benefits of military children.
4. Strategies and Resources for Families Dealing with Military-Custody Issues
Military-custody issues are complex and require special strategies and resources. Here are a few approaches to help families manage the situation.
Prepare Yourself
The most important strategy for families dealing with military-custody issues is preparation. Talk with a lawyer and research the laws that pertain to your specific situation carefully. This detail-oriented approach will give you the best chances of success. Additionally, it’s a good idea to develop a support system that can help you if the stress becomes too much for you to handle.
Take Action
Military-custody issues can be difficult to navigate, and it can be tempting to give up. Don’t. Take action. Reach out to organizations and individuals that have experience with similar issues. Involve yourself in community activities and attend support group meetings. Take time to reach out to friends and family who can provide moral and emotional support.
Utilize Available Resources
Don’t try to handle the situation alone. There are a variety of helpful resources available, such as:
- Support Groups: Local support groups are a fantastic way to connect with other families in similar situations.
- Legal Help: Local legal services provide free or low-cost legal help for families dealing with military-custody issues.
- Online Resources: The internet provides resources to help families manage the legal, emotional and financial aspects of military-custody issues.
By utilizing these strategies and resources, families can ensure that their needs are met and that the situation is managed more effectively.
By developing a strong working relationship with military personnel and better understanding the unique difficulties they face, child custody arrangements can be improved and managed more efficiently. Our heroic service members deserve the best support we can provide – and ultimately, a secure child custody arrangement can help them enjoy their time with their families, whether on deployment or at home.